Dealing with Toxicity
There comes a time in everyone’s life where they are faced with rejections, manipulations and betrayals. It is during this time that people are found at their lowest point; hurt from the ones they loved the most, betrayed by those that they trusted the most and used by those that were the closest to them.
The damaged caused from these traumatic incidents often lead victims to seclude themselves from the world, closing themselves to everyone surrounding them with the fear of succumbing to such instances again. These wounded souls habitually also end up in depression, self-harm and in some cases even commit suicide.
The pain that such incidents cause can never be looked down upon. This suffering is more hurtful than physical abuse, however the way we deal with it determines how much misery the situation actually causes. The more we let such occurrences linger around in our minds and thoughts the more grief it would cause, the more sorrow it would cause, the more it will hamper our decisions and eventually our lives.
Let’s look at the life of the Prophet ﷺ . His life was full of trials and tribulations that caused Him so much pain that we may not even be able to imagine. His own family rejected him and the message that He ﷺ brought. His two uncles Abu Jahl and Abu Lahab were at the forefront of everything that was plotted against Him. They even drove Him ﷺ out of his own home, starved him in Shib abi Talib, stoned and abused him publicly and even planned to murder him.
Even in Madinah, Prophet ﷺ was faced with immense hardships with likes of fighting numerous wars against his own family members and city, handling the backstabbing from the Jews of Madinah and the hypocrites of Madinah. If anyone of us were to face even the slightest of such atrocities, our hearts would’ve ripped apart with the amount of pain and suffering the best Man ﷺto step the earth had to face.
The Prophet ﷺ however, reciprocated all this pain with greatness. he visited the very woman who would throw trash on him when she was sick. He knew the names of the hypocrites of Islam living in Medinah yet chose not to expose their names and as a Model of Mercy for us mankind. He (SAW) even was willing to offer Janazah of the leader of Hypocrites, Abdullah bin Ubai. He ﷺ also forgave the people of Makkah during the conquest of Makkah, setting the epitome of forgiveness that history has seen!
Our trials in no way are bigger than what the Prophet (SAW) had to go through. It can never be compared to the problems he faced. Thus, if he observed such difficulties with patience, kindness and tawakkul then why can’t we? why can’t we just forget what people did to us and move on? Why can’t we just forgive people easily?
Of course, things are never easy but at least giving theme a try would take you somewhere one day. You should know your boundaries and values and be firm on them since many will try to demoralize you or bring you down at their own level. Have positive people around, try your best to eradicate negative
people from your life as this will really help you to see out of the box. With in no time you’ll start finding positivity in people around you no matter how much negative traits do they have. And last but least, always seek help from Allah. There are certain Supplications in the Quran and Hadith for specific purposes. Find the one that suits you the most and seek Allah’s help using them.
Allah Almighty says:
“And will provide for him from where he does not expect. And whoever places his trust in Allah, Sufficient is He for him, for Allah will surely accomplish His Purpose: For verily, Allah has appointed for all things a due proportion.” (Quran, 65:3).
In another verse of Holy Quran Allah says:
“…And put your trust in Allah if you are believers indeed” (Quran, 5: 23).
Therefore, one should put utmost yaqeen on the words of his Lord.
“For Allah intends (to provide) ease for you and does not intend (to create) hardship for you.”
(Quran, 2:185).